David Austrem



Day Job:

Looking for:

Brief history in time:

Spent most of my life doing nothing. Now I'm doing something in the hopes one day I'll have enough money to do nothing


Taking bubble baths in Fukushima water

How would you describe yourself in 3 words?

Personally, I wouldn't.

What was your most important life lesson so far?

You know you watched too much porn when you spit on the petrol noozle before filling up your car

If you had 3 wishes, what would the 4th one have been? (what nearly made the cut but didn't?)

What's your current favourite joke?

Why don't foot fetishists ever win anything? They like the taste of defeat.

What's the meaning of existence? (in 3 words or less)

Eating, my girl and not using commas

Favourite sound?

The "Ping" of an M1 Garand

Can you juggle?

Why do you do improv?